Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Deja Vu.

This post is not going to be a typical tri-talk/nonsense post. I know some of you know what I'm about to say, others don't. I'm going to share something that has been foremost in my thoughts for the past few months. It was also part of the reason I just didn't feel like blogging as I didn't feel like I was myself 100%. It was a part of me that I tried to suppress during my day at IMWI and just enjoy the day, but I also drew strength from it, knowing that I wasn't the only one battling for something.

As some of you may remember, just over a year ago, we had the unfortunate experience of going through this. Well lo and behold, in August, we found out that once again one of my little Michael Phelps had won its race again. We were ecstatic.

Fast forward about a week or so, towards the very end of the month. I was downstairs getting my clothes ready for work the next day when I heard a scream unlike one I've ever heard from J. It literally sent a chill down my spine just by the sound of it, you could hear the raw fear in it. I rushed upstairs, expecting the worse, I remember my heart beating out of my chest and that pure adrenaline rush take over my body.

It still bothers me to think about it, but my first thought was that J walked in to wish my daughter "goodnight" in her bedroom and found her not breathing or even worse, but that was not the case, thank God. To save the gory details, we'll just say that there was a lot of stuff discharged that shouldn't be there when one is with child. J was hysterical, I was very, very concerned and I didn't know what to do. So a quick call to her Mom to come over (at 11 PM) and we head to the ER.

All I was thinking was "not again". The first one was hard enough in the nature it happened, by us being totally blindsided, to have another, and for it to go like this without any warning again, I wasn't sure how I was going to be able to deal with it.

I remember the drive over to the hospital as seeming to go on forever (about 10 miles). I kept reassuring J that everything would be OK, but I wasn't sure myself. I didn't see how the outcome could be positive from what had just occured.

We get to the hospital, get checked in, and the moment of truth awaits. The ultrasound. The doctor grabs the wand, applies it to J's belly and then I see it. I see the little warrior in there and I see its little leg do a kick. I felt relieved. I am no doctor, but having been through enough ultrasounds by now, I thought things looked good. The doctor left the room for a minute and I told J that the baby was in there and that I saw it move. I thought we were in the clear.

The doctor returns and confirmed what I saw, the baby was alive, HR was fine. However, he also detected a blood sack that had formed in the placenta that was not normal. He seemed VERY concerned. We asked the question. He answered he didn't know. It could go either way. There were no official stats to back up one way or the other, we just had to let nature take its course. We were in the ultimate limbo. A trip to the OB/GYN was recommended, and we went within the next couple of days.

As good as our OB/GYN is, he pretty much echo'd what the ER doctors said. All we could do was go on as best we could, and hope for the best. The only way to be able to tell how this was going to turn out would be bi-weekly ultrasounds to measure the babies progress as well as to see if the sack was getting bigger or smaller. I'm not sure if any of you have ever felt completely helpless in a situation, but let me tell, it's the worse feeling in the world. There was literally NOTHING we could do, besides J taking it easy.

And so has been the story of my life the last few months. Every 14 days or so, we would go in and get checked. Checked by the regular OB/GYN, by the high risk OB/GYN, getting tested, measurements being taken, more tests. Every 14 days, going back and seeing how things are, every 14 days going in and hoping there's a heartbeat, hoping that there's movement. As you can imagine the process really starts to wear on you, it just emotionally drains you. It's there, always in your thoughts, and there's nothing you can do but wait. Wait through phrases like "high risk", "very concerned", and "up in the air", that even though our OB/GYN is great, he couldn't tell us the sentence we wanted to hear.

Until finally, a few weeks ago. When finally we started to hear words like "low risk", or "evasive action can be taken if need be" (ie the baby is getting to the point where it could be removed if need be, obviously worse case scenario), and better yet, the check ups have moved back in length, now 4-6 weeks. And so even though we are still not 100% out of the clear, things are looking much, much better.

And so we go on, best we can. The baby is now kicking hard enough to feel it through the tummy. J's starting to look preggers, and is gaining weight like she should. We are keeping our fingers crossed, but life these past few weeks have been much more enjoyable than the last few months.

I just thought I'd put this out there, as it seems to some like miscarriage is a taboo topic, but after researching it after our first one, they say anwhere from 10-25% of normal pregnancies will end in miscarriage. It blew my mind that it's that prevalent, 1 out of every 4 by the numbers, yet you don't hear about it much, people don't talk about it.

Not sure if this post proves anything, maybe it helps someone out there that has gone through one, knowing you are not alone. From my perspective, it feels good just to have it down "on paper" for once, so I can move on and look forward to numero dos's arrival, who, if things play out the way they should, has an ETA of March. Thanks for listening.

....and now back to our originally scheduled program........

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Updates, Updates....

Boy, it's been so long, I forget how to even write a quality post, if you could call my prior posts "quality".

Boobies. Poopie.

Well there, that's a start, at least it made me laugh.

Life has been fast and crazy lately. I went to Nashville and then Vegas all in the span of 7 days. That broke up what had been a pretty dedicated 5 weeks of working out.

I thought the offseason was a time to relax, but I'm still managing to get anywhere from 5-10 hours a week of workouts in. I'm loving it though. I'm getting faster everyday and that makes me very happy. Tonight, for example, did a 4 miler in 31 minutes, (all in primarily low zone 2 HR) so that gets me jacked up, knowing I'm doing that well now, if I can keep this up, I should be flying by the next race season.

Other than that, I must admit, I have become a TOTAL facebook addict....this "may or may not be" another reason this blog has taken a hit. It seems facebook is all I do, I mean it has even cut into my porn time, and that's saying a lot. (On a side note if any of you want to friend me up, just let me know, (

I'm still planning my 2009 race season, so far my only "for sure's" are the Green Bay Half Marathon and The Spirit of Racine Half Ironman, so if any of you know of a fun race besides those, I'm all ears.

I'm also kicking around doing an X-terra next year. I've been hitting the singletrack around here (amazingly it's pretty decent for Illinois) and that kind of has given me the itch to try it. We shall see.

I should be back around here more now, work is coming into its slow season, so that means my internets cruising time will go up.

Also pondering what I'd look like on this for the upcoming year, because I don't have a "true" road bike, and we all need one of those too, right? The new Felt AR road series.

(Note: this is like a subliminal message to the wife, you know, like plant the seed now and let her think about it, by March she'll accept it, see how that works? Feel free to use this technique yourself, no need to thank me).